TEE revisited

this year's exams are a little bit like the TEE. as a fresher (year 7) you start hearing some ominous things, but shut it out to worry about later. by the time you get to fourth year (year 11) there is massive foreshadowing of the fifth year exams (TEE). and when you're in fifth year you spend all year studying/intermittently revising for the exams because you realise that at this stage all-nighters (even several in a row, if you're resilient enough) just won't cut it.

this is not just the Upper Years trying to scare us- everyone in the hospitals is trying to impress upon us the magnitude of these exams. you'll often hear something like this: "you have your BIG osce this year, right? Mm... i remember that..."

still, i doubt anything can ever meet the intensity of year 12.

my biggest concern at the moment is probably ophthal.
it's the one subject i never learned properly, and my first rotation of the year (ie in the shadowy corners of Memory).

and i have further reason for concern- we had an ophthalmology exam in term 1, and laid out on one of the question pages were three pictures of a fundus. the task was for us to write down the cup:disc ratio in each. easy, right? no.

i cannot interpret those images, they just all look pretty much the same to me. hyperaemia? new vessel proliferation? swollen optic disc? silver wiring? uhh yeh actually... no. nope. can't see it. so i just made up three ratios and surprise surprise- they were ALL WRONG. i actually got a whopping 0/3 for that page.

this morning i looked at some of the ophthal notes that my classmates have been studying from.
31 page+ 6 page+8 page documents, it's feasible. as long as i'm not asked to interpret any images.

also, i received the outcome of my UK visa application: rejected. i was quite crushed- the whole process of applying is quite arduous and expensive, and to top it off i have exams in two weeks. still, i am choosing to trust that everything will work out fine.

i shall stick E's messenger status here, because it has been encouraging me: "If things go wrong it'll be alright- cos someone greater is watching over me".

on feminism and relationships

i recently bumped into a friend who has this firm belief that i am a feminist. i remember once trying to assure him that i have great appreciation for my undergarments, but he obviously wasn't convinced. the truth is, i once looked up what it meant to be a feminist. and according to our favourite online encyclopaedia, i actually am! a liberal feminist, to be precise.

one thing i really believe in is equal pay for equal work. if a woman does the same job as a man does, ceteris paribus, then she should get the same salary.

what i don't believe is that women should be paid the same as men regardless. ie if sportswomen want the same pay as their male counterparts, they should rival their (the men's) performance. so if a female tennis player can hit a ball as fast as a male tennis player can, then sure, ask for equal pay. but if not, then just as women protest against being discriminated against, so should we protest against receiving preferential treatment in the workplace.

and of course, there is the other domain where feminism has really made an impact: relationships. and what started me writing this post in the first place was that i was finding yet another way to procrastinate by reading this article. i've deliberately linked the third page because of how beautifully Ms. Stranger phrases the conundrum (paragraph three).

if i recall the invigorating speeches made during Assembly periods in my school, the vast majority of them were about being great leaders, women of the future, etc. women nowadays are earning more money than their male counterparts. at least, some female undergraduates in America are. so do we still expect our meals paid for, or do we go dutch?

or should we just do what the guest speaker for my Yr 12 Valedictory service suggested, and marry down?

the unintentional countdown

only three more weeks of paeds, then exams.

it really is starting to dawn on me how close graduation is. since 4th year, patients have been saying "not long to go now", but every year before now has gone by soooo slowly that i never really allow myself to imagine being an intern. 5th year really has flown by- and it is only now that i have begun to feel tired.

some of that has probably got to do with my waking at 0530 hours every morning for the past week. i thought it was just my usual sensitivity to the light, it being nearly summer and all. but when i looked at my watch this morning and saw that it was 0450 hours, i decided it had gone too far and refused to budge until 0630 hours. when i tell them, my fellow (reasonably)-soon-to-be-interns classmates can't make up their minds about whether i am anxious or depressed. perhaps both?

also had a very eventful day in hospital and i am exhausted now. my consultant arrived and decided to do a ward round shortly after the wednesday morning teaching session. the rmo (resident medical officer) was off putting a cannula in somebody, so i took the files and volunteered to scribe. there i was, clutching the files to my chest awkwardly, when the consultant turned to me and asked how i was doing, and if i was her new rmo! i was like er, no, i am your student (and have been for the past week that you've been on call). i don't know how it is that some consultants can see your face in all the meetings but never take any notice until you are introduced. it's quite a common occurrence, too.

once we were introduced it was fine. i sat in with her during endocrinology clinic and she was quite happy to discuss our patients. in fact i accidentally cut her off during an explanation about a certain rare medical condition.
consultant: yes so in that boy we had to blah-blah-blah because blah-blah-blah.
*pause*
me: okay thank you so much! ... *picks up bag, file, stethoscope*
consultant: in [insert condition name], the patient will often have [insert associated symptoms]...
me: ohh mm uh-huh *crap! did i just interrupt the consultant?*

remember that post on CTEC? well, the day came sooner than expected. i left clinic in a hurry so that i could attend the WAMSS suture workshop from 5-7pm. 14 students showed up, myself included, which was a little disappointing considering there were enough spots for 50 students. it was taken by two plastic surgeons, and definitely not a waste of time.

in terms of other news, lodged UK visa application today. fingers crossed.

off to do some PICOs and evidence based medicine for my THIRD case report (out of 4).

it has begun

so i was sitting here, innocently listening to some Scott Darlow when my mother approached me with a suspiciously large envelope...

...containing radiographs of my brother's OPG. my reflex reaction was "mum, i'm not a dentist". of course, hers was "i know, i know, but will you just take a look at this anyway"

the other day, kaixing also had a right-sided facial swelling. we took her to the vet and it turns out that she also has wisdom teeth, plus abscess formation! he gave her antibiotics, and i had a peek at the generic drug names. would you believe it- amoxycillin + augmentin, which is precisely what i'd suggested to my brother :P

so there you go- paediatric endocrinology by day, and moonlighting as a dentist/vet.

paeds endocrinology is going fabulously. i love, love, love my entire team. even so, i doubt i'll specialise in this area. CAH and Pituitary disorders are interesting, but all of that insulin adjusting would drive me nuts.

life's like a box of mooncakes

number one food i miss about Singapore would have to be mooncake. specifically the double egg yolk traditional-style mooncake. unfortunately, i doubt i could impress upon the quarantine authorities the severity of my cravings every october.

i haven't gone back to Singapore for the mid-autumn festival for at least 10 years. in that time i've become much less picky.

recently, mum brought back a box of mooncakes (no egg- i don't know why but i'm always hoping). they're multicoloured, and a random assortment of flavours. i chose a light spearmint-coloured one.

bit into it.

found lots of chunky bits of carrot.

veggie-flavoured mooncake??! who would do such a thing! -_-