Disillusioned

I get scolded so much that it no longer paralyses me.

There are some kind people, but not nearly enough.

I am always tired, and often short-tempered.

Men have really disappointed me.

I have everything I want, so why do I feel this way?

week 1

somehow it feels as though i have hurtled head first into an angry ocean. i think i have done enough healthy whinging in person for me to be bored of this topic, so suffice it to say that i started work on a busy rotation, amongst more experienced colleagues, and it is taking me a little longer than i would like to get up to speed.

i think i have been focusing too much on the negative things, so instead i bring you a positive review of my week.

monday: reg makes eye contact with me, and actually speaks to me during the round. (unfortunately i am unable to answer any of his questions. okok, back to being positive).

tuesday: i crash ernest's small group and join in their game of space alert

wednesday: i begin to feel like i am getting the hang of things... the day is less busy day in general, and at night i go to buen 151 for dinner and have awesome sushi. i cannot stop myself from yawning throughout the meal.

thursday: i suture for the first time in months, receive some fantastic news, get my first paycheck for the year, and treat my family to dinner at jojo's.

friday: i wake up refreshed with close to eight hours' sleep. (this is necessary for me to survive, because later at work i get totally trampled by my workload). i find myself extremely thankful that it's friday, and that i'm not working over the weekend. my colleagues and i celebrate the end of our first week by having a late lunch at the byrneleigh.

saturday: i go shopping! and enjoy a movie with james.

sunday: that's tomorrow, but i am looking forward to hearing joe share the Word :)

every new beginning

i can't count the number of times i've said it feels so surreal. the last time i remember feeling this way was during my early university days.

it only took two pagers and a mobile phone to remind me that this is all very real. with some supplemental evidence in the form of having to sign notes, charts, and forms under my own name. suddenly there seemed to be too much freedom to decide which drug, what dose, and what formulation, at what rate.

scary, daunting, fun, exhilarating.

i'm looking forward to it :)

(but i'm also going to do a bit of revision this weekend to try and reduce how... scary/daunting everything is)

it's going to be a crazy year. and through it all, it is my earnest desire to love and trust Him in everything i do.