aerobics

fact number 1: i am in singapore
fact number 2: i am staying at my aunt's
fact number 3: today is wednesday

facts 1+2+3= i had to go to aerobics class with my aunt (and 15 other housewives) this morning.

aerobics pretty much equals 1.5 hours of humiliation. during this time i really missed my little sister, because if she were doing it with me, we could at least share the mirth. what i did instead was to select a spot at the very back of the room, and attempt to remain discreet.

shortly after this, the instructor started calling out in English. "Move your hips!", "shake like this!" and so on. the primary language of instruction is Chinese, so her use of English meant that she was referring to the aerobics noob at the back, ie me.

she then decided that i needed extra instruction, and insisted that i stand closer to the front of the room. so much for discretion. from my new vantage point, i spotted a young girl sitting down while she waited for her mother to finish. how come i wasn't allowed to sit out?

we had an extended period of the jelly hips today, which was quite painful. the instructor could give shakira a run for her money. i, on the other hand, more closely resemble the tin man from the wizard of oz. she kept making me put my hands on her iliac crest to "learn" how to shake my hips, and at one point decided that i wasn't getting the picture and perhaps i should put my hands on glut max instead.

i am so traumatised. never again. (i said that last time, didn't i?)