the weather has been quite warm and humid recently. a strong reminder that it's that time of year again. every thick morning brings back strong memories of long, endless days of dread. of muted panic and long, stretching days filled with repetition and study. during high school, I consoled myself with thoughts of a new, fresh, exciting future- university. during university swotvac, I looked forward to three months of summer holidays. during my intern year, I looked forward to my days off and a holiday to Japan at the end of it all.
this year, things are completely different. my long, endless period of dread is going to last 11 weeks, for one. that is NOT how it is supposed to be. And yet, it is entirely my fault because I decided 18 months ago that I would some more experience working in a rural town. that feeling persisted for 12 months, but recently I have really begun dreading the move. why couldn't I just stay in some nice, comfortable, familiar hospital job in the city? what's wrong with being surrounded by family, going to end of year parties with old friends, and seeing my boyfriend every week? or even every two weeks? what's wrong with having internet access? sometimes I am too adventurous for my own good. or perhaps I am just getting older now, and being out of my comfort zone is not as exciting as it used to be.
one of many valuable lessons that Medicine has taught me- you never really know what to expect. i have put in special requests for terms that i have ended up hating, and i have pleaded to be swapped out of rotations which ended up become pivotal points in my career. let's see what the next eleven weeks bring.
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