hope for the weary

Today, I went to work hoping that it would be a better day.

I'm quite serious about this- I actually went in early because there was a teaching round, which means two things that would make me happy:
1. free food
2. education

If anything, I left feeling even more dejected- both of the cases discussed had ended in tragedy for the people involved.

Shortly after, I ran into a friend. Well, she was really more of an acquaintance than a friend. But for some reason, when she asked me how I was, instead of blurting out the usual "I'm doing well", I kind of had a "verbal diarrhoea" moment and spilled my guts on how despondent and directionless I was.

She gently directed me to a table, bid me take a seat, and listened. And then after that, she gave me loving counsel and encouragement. When I returned to my ward, yet another acquaintance spoke kind words into my life. I think that was quite well timed, because I had a headache during my entire shift, and had to do some overtime to tie up all the loose ends.

When I finally returned home, I was surprised to see that there were several compassionate messages awaiting me in quick succession.

Why? These messages were from busy people, who have nothing to gain whatsoever from me, and whom I do not even consider amongst my closest circle of friends. What makes people look outside of themselves and reach out to others? What makes a beggar give out of his poverty?

Again, I am reminded- God encourages. God gives.

Luke 21 v3-4: “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” (NIV)

in confusion and turmoil

there are times when i really enjoy my job, and others when all i can think about is quitting/retiring/switching to housewifery. at the moment, the bad exceeds the good- hence all this negative talk.

i realise i haven't really explained what kind of hours i work- i have two weeks of day shifts, then a week of evening shifts. part of the reason i'm feeling a bit down is because i've been rostered back onto evening shifts. for someone who is used to sleeping at 1030 and waking up at 630, starting work in the afternoon comes as a bit of a shock to the system.

the other part that i dislike is the waiting and praying part. the part that knows i can trust a faithful God but wants to indulge in impatience anyway. i suspect it is because of my inherent impatience that i am forced to wait so often. so many evils are born from impatience, if it is great enough. there is already a huge part of me that, instead of encouraging others, is quick to flare with irritation.

it is this wolf that i mustn't feed.

a rather bleh day

some thoughts on how bleh my day/week has been:
1. chronic sleep deprivation leading to me being very absent in the presence of company
2. having multiple failed attempts at cannulating of my nicest patients on her birthday
3. finding out that i *still* haven't been paid for working on australia day
4. working overtime on a thursday, then coming home to find out that my siblings are too busy studying to play games with me, and my mother doesn't want to go shopping
4.1. spending my time studying from my old notes instead
5. realising that i have no idea what i want to do with the rest of my life

argh.

Valentine's day

I had to do a little bit of cleaning over the weekend, and with Valentine's day coming up next week, I thought I'd share a treasure that I stumbled across:

{my year eight friend/boyfriend material checklist}

It turns out I do have a "type", after all- I'd simply forgotten!